Losing my life, to gain it

In the summer of 2002, I went to Chihuahua, Mexico on a mission trip. In the beginning I was focused on me. Don’t take what I’m saying the wrong way, I couldn’t wait to give God’s love to those who didn’t know Him, but I just didn’t enjoy the 10 hour day of traveling, 6 hours of being on a hot old school bus, the squeaky bunk beds, no air-conditioning, no TV, no familiar scenery, no family, and hardly anyone who spoke English. The first night I remember laying in this squeaky bunk bed thinking to myself “what am I doing here?” It was hard being out of my comfort zone. I missed my home, my friends, my family, my church, and quite plainly, my life.
During that entire trip I felt as if I had lost my life because everything that I had known had changed drastically, yet I felt a new comfort, satisfaction, and joy. A comfort that came from God alone, a satisfaction that came from doing God’s will and not my own, and a joy that came from sharing His love and Word with hurting people and watching their lives change through His power! As I stepped out of myself, I had stepped closer to God. So what; if I didn’t have comfort and the things I am used to. I was doing God’s will and that’s all that matters.
Now, I finally realize what Jesus meant when He said in Mat. 10:39 “…whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” In Mexico, I lost my life, everything I knew, only to find out what life was all about, God. Even though, I’m home again I realize that I can make a difference everyday, in everyone’s life for the better when I forget about my life and myself. For when I truly forget about me then I can focus totally on Him! Only then is my life worth living.

by Rob Jelinski